Who is the Father of Thanksgiving? I'm going to make an executive decision and declare a fictional character on this one. Sorry President Lincoln, you might of declared it a national holiday, but Charlie Brown made Thanksgiving what it is today. Just a side note, I did some research to see who is officially the "Father of Thanksgiving" and found that if you Google "Father Thanksgiving" the first link is a surfing priest, Father Joe who has a 5k run in San Diego on Thanksgiving morning. Interesting.
Since Thanksgiving traditions should be about family having a good time together, I would like to offer up some suggestions on some new ones:
#1-Put up your Christmas tree. Seriously, people put it up. In the past, my family watched the Macy's Day Parade and decorated. You are within a month of Christmas so now everyone can put up their tree. If time, desire, and energy allows for you to do a little decorating, go for it.
#2-Watch the Macy's Day Parade in your pajamas. The best way to watch the parade is in your pj's. However, it is an all day marathon, so I suggest that at some point you get dress or else it's 5:00 in the evening and you feel like you've wasted a day. So go by the same standard that many do for drinking alcohol when it comes to watching the parade in your pajamas, don't do it in excess.
#3-Watch a movie. Here a couple Thanksgiving movies to watch:
- Rudy. This is the safest choice.
- Charlie Brown or Pocahontas. Children choices.
- Stepmom. Is a woman's choice. Although warning, it's a sad movie. I hate to throw my own flesh and blood under the bus, but my dad actually cried in the movie. However, if you will read the comments on yesterday's posts, you'll understand that he deserved it.
- Mr. Boogedy. This is a forgotten family/comedy/horror movie with Pilgrims.
- Son-In-Law. This one isn't for the kids since Pauly Shore makes some crude remarks. Why is it that when Pauly Shore uses innuendo it gives me that same awkward feeling as if it were my grandmother saying those things?
#4-Don't waste all your time watching television. Talk with your family members. I'm blessed to have all my grandparents still living. Recently, my Pa Bill shared with me about meeting my Ma for the first time. You couldn't offer me any amount of money for that moment.
#5-Get your metabolism up. The best way to enjoy fattening food is to make sure that you eat a lot of it, so exercise today and tomorrow morning. I hate that stuffed feeling of eating so much you feel like you are going to pop like a tick, but this is the one day of the year that I'll go to that dark place. So make sure to get your metabolism going, not to be healthy, but so that you can eat more.
#6-Go around the table and tell everyone what you are thankful for. If you do this, I want you to know that while this is sweet and verbalizing your thankfulness is a good thing, it is extremely awkward for everyone. Which is why I like it. Nothing like my wife and sister-in-law feeling helplessly uncomfortable. We have only done this one time. If you would like to embarrass your significant other, when it's time to pray volunteer them to say the blessing. But warning that embarrassing moment while fun, doesn't live up to the hype and creates unnecessary tension on the ride home, so proceed with caution. Aren't you glad you've matured me some, Lace?
#7-Don't complain. Try not to complain all day. Even if you have to make four stops. Just be glad you get to be with your family.
#8-Read my blog at the table. Normally, I wouldn't suggest you reading a blog for Thanksgiving diner, but I would like to expand my reader base. So go ahead and help me out. Yes, this is going to be awkward, but there is a good chance that your Uncle Jim hasn't read my blog yet (there's a good chance my Uncle Jim hasn't read my blog yet). The best time to read it isn't after the prayer (even though this will be the quietest), do it right before the desert. If you will wait until desert everyone is in a happy place because they are full. Fatigue is also setting in because of the turkey tryptophan is absorbing into the body, so you'll begin hearing the repetitious slurring on how delicious everything was. That's when you go in for the kill. Even if my posts aren't good, they will perceive them to be because they are in a happy place and they aren't having to talk.
#9-If you read my blog, I ask that while you eat, you only eat food items with gravy. If you are really hard core you will only drink gravy (but that might be a little unrealistic). Every time you ask for the gravy, accidentally slip in a "Please pass the Christian Gravy." If no one says notices your gravy diet antics (aren't you glad you exercised this morning) strategically ask for the gravy boat during desert, so you can pour it on your pie. Surely that will catch someone's attention and then you may proceed to explain about Christian Gravy.
So there are some Thanksgiving Day tips for tomorrow.
Questions:
Does your family have any unique Turkey Day tradition tips?
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