Have you gone on vacation or moved to a new place and wanted to visit a new church? With a church on every corner in America, it can be a daunting task.
Not anymore, not with the help of Yelp! All you have to do is search the churches in a city. I've done this before to help choose churches to visit.
The problem is now I get bored and start reading Yelp reviews for entertainment. How entertaining are they? So entertaining I thought about filming a series called "Real Christians Read Yelp Reviews" for Christian Gravy.
This, of course, was taking a spoof off of "Real Actors Read Yelp Reviews" on Youtube, which by the way is hilarious. If you have some time, you should check it out.
But I thought I would share some excerpts from some guest of churches who left reviews.
So what does a super spiritual young man look for in a church?
Three star review of a mega-church in the South.
"Oh man, I'm giving this church 3 stars. I'm going to hell. Just kidding.
My knowledge of theology says that I won't. Besides, the ten
commandments didn't say i can't give a church 3 stars. So it's not even a
sin. But maybe it's buried in Leviticus somewhere.
One thing I
have to say, a lot of hot chicks seem to go to this church. So if you're
single, you can come here to pick up hot Christian chicks or hot
Christian men. And yes, it's perfectly normal to go to church to look
for potential marriage partners. It's not forbidden or anything..."
This church is an outreach pastor's dream. The ushers work miracles.
Four star review of a Church of God.
"Great church. Very diverse. The pastor tells it like it is. The choir
and music is awesome !!! If I have to find a complaint, it would be
sometimes its hard to find a seat because people save seats but the
ushers usually work it out."
This guy didn't like church, but now loves colored lights coming through stained glass windows and a rocking pipe organ.
Five star review of a Lutheran Church in the Northeast.
"I am not a fan of church. Is that wrong for me to say? I used to go to
church all the time, but somewhere between A and MEN I somehow lost the
desire to go to church. Maybe it was the old church lady smell....While sitting there
listening to the sermon, gazing at all the beautiful stained glass
windows from the balcony is like another world. It is an amazing place. The organ is an authentic pipe organ, and it will blow your
mind."
Something I have been slow to learn is that there isn't one way to do church. Not even a best way. Contemporary, tradition, and hipster, mega-large, mega-small,and everything in between, pipe organ, off key choir, rocking, and folky, young, over the hill, and barely breathing, loud preacher, quiet preacher, and preacher who wears blue jeans.
Churches of all kinds make up the bride of Christ. It's not the building, it's the people.
There are three common threads that run through Yelp reviews on whether or not someone viewed their experience negative, neutral, or positively. And they are almost in this order:
1) Did they connect with the music? Not the worship, but the musical style.
2) Did they feel welcomed? Was this a church where people who they wanted to be around attended?
3) Did they connect with the message?
Question:
What kind of review would visitors give your church on Yelp?
2 comments:
The most important factor in choosing a church is do they believe the Bible and do they read it in their worship services. Too many churches now focus on making the worship experience cool with lights, coffee, etc., yet they don't actually read from God's Word. I don't care what Yelp says about the music, message, etc. Do they read the Bible? Everything else comes in second.
I agree. The most important factor should be whether or not they believe the Bible. However, coffee is nice. Yelp actually does have reviews that would give that information as well. Those just aren't entertaining during free reading time. Thanks for your comment.
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