Seeking Validation?

As Christians we are constantly trying to validate ourselves.

Often how we find validation is based on confirmation of who else is doing the things that we are doing.

We attribute teenagers as saying, "But everybody else is doing it!" However, as adults we do about the same. Instead we say, "So-and-so does it."

Before I dropped out of seminary, I took an oath in blood on a full moon night not to engage in tobacco or alcohol products. Okay, maybe it wasn't an oath, but I did sign the ethos statement. We even made a video about it. Pray hard enough and I'll post it one day.

At this time, I had friends who smoked cigars.

I wasn't sure if smoking an occasional cigar was wrong or just unwise. But standing outside with them puffing on cigars the night before a close friend got married, it looked like fun. You could feel the camaraderie materializing between them. But I was excluded. That experience made me dream about smoking cigars one day.

After I experienced the freedom from dropping out of seminary, I still didn't smoke a stogy. I just couldn't figure out if it was right or wrong. Until, I heard one of my spiritual hero's talk about smoking cigars with his amigos. That was it. If he did it, then it had to be okay. (See Unsinning with Cigar.)

We are always searching for confirmation for our actions.

We love the thought of other people being in the same mess as us. Because it can't be that bad if other Christians are doing it too. Or maybe it's something that isn't necessarily wrong, but carries a stigma about it.

Why?

We are looking to be justified. We want to feel that we are right.

Paul said we are justified through our faith and that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). We try to justify ourselves, but that's impossible. The only thing that makes us right is our faith in Jesus.

Stop looking to others to justify yourself. It doesn't matter if "so-and-so does it". If you are a Christian, you have already been made right with God. Instead of searching for justification, ask yourself if you are living by faith.

Question:
What are your thoughts?