The Beard Knows All

It is the 22nd day of NoShavember. This is an achievement in and of itself, since I have never ventured this long before. If you are new to my blogging, I have been giving weekly updates to how NoShavember is going. You may view the previous ones at www.joelball.org, if you wish. Also, if you are new please understand that I am a victim of MFPB (Male Facial Pattern Baldness). You won't see it in a medical journal and some may say I have "low testosterone", but I refuse to believe that blasphemy.

Amazing things have happened this week.

First, I am sad to say but I almost caved, until I made a deal with myself. If I was going to be a wimp and shave this weekend, I had to go see the premiere of the new Twilight movie...alone. This was basically a hormone injection for me and I manned up really quickly.

Second, I'm glad to be able to announce that my oldest brother caved on Saturday and shaved the beard. The Ball boys have had a little competition going on to see who could have the best facial hair for NoShavember. The first week of NoShavember my father made fun of my facial hair and then, like a little school boy, he tapped out. My oldest brother has talked a lot of trash about my facial hair. That was until he got scared and shaved this weekend. I'm sure as we come closer to Thanksgiving, he just couldn't stand the agony of defeat when my goatee actually beat his beard down. It's nice to beat the older brother from time to time (maybe for March Madness I can share with you my first epic win in basketball over him). Now I only have one brother to go until victory is complete. Sorry Aaron, but I feel as if I have the "spirit of the Lord" upon me and you are about to get a Samson beat down too.

Third, my daughter thought I was shaving and she said, "Daddy, I don't want you to shave your mustache!" The princesses love it so who knows, maybe it'll be a permanent fixture on my chin.  I told my wife that I was thinking of keeping it since "the critics are raving about it," but she informed me that she is the only critic that isn't just humoring me.

Fourth, by day I am a public school teacher. This is a picture a child drew me on the board this week. First, a child tells me that I look like a pirate and now this? This child has learned that you don't mess with Mr. Ball when hair is attacking his face. The beard does know all. The beard provides wisdom. What does a buck-toothed rabbit have to do with a beard? I have no clue. How does one shave their name into their goatee? It defies all logic, but that goes with the spirit of NoShavember.

Fifth, a couple people (by couple, I mean one) have said that I look like a lumber jack. A lumber jack is like one of the most manly occupations that one can have. Boy am I glad I wore the flannel shirt that day!

Lastly, I have found the best way for NoShavemberians to drive a vehicle. You have to tilt the rear view mirror down enough to where you can see your facial hair. Is this the safest way? Absolutely not, but sure feels manly to drive a minivan while admiring your facial hair.