The Super Bowl Sunday Hangover

Did the Super Bowl Sunday Hangover sack you?

It's the fiercest and most notorious of all the Sunday hangovers. It fears no one! No age group, race, religion, or gender is exempt. The beast comes after everyone!

There is no way to escape it, other than not watching the game live. But that would probably make you some kind of loser. (Sorry, but I'm suffering myself.) The day after the Super Bowl is something that almost everyone has to reckon with.

About 110 million people are suffering right now. That's over one-third of the United States. Let me break down my research for you.

It's predicted that the Super Bowl had over 110 million viewers. It's my unqualified professional opinion that the average Super Bowl viewer only had about four hours of deep and restful sleep.

Why? Three factors come into play.
 
1) You stayed up to watch the game, but chased it with post-game coverage, the Puppy Bowl IX, and Elementary.

2) Your consumption of food and beverages didn't promote healthy sleeping habits. There were enough Coke and beer commercials to keep you drinking (let's not pretend that there weren't any Christians drinking beer). You consumed your yearly wing and chilli allowance in one night. This doesn't help anyone fall asleep or hit a deep sleep.

3) You cleaned after the party. Over 20 million people partied and someone had to clean up that mess.

I have had my run with Super Bowl parties as a youth director. Cleaning up after the party is brutal. It seems like it goes on forever. And can I say that nothing good happens at church Super Bowl parties? Every Super Bowl party I've been in charge of has been renamed:

• Depantsing Bowl a.k.a. Super Bowl XLI. Bears vs. Colts. I couldn't even enjoy the game for a youth being depantsed rendering his backside bare. The party went south from there.  

• Kitty Litter Bowl a.k.a. Super Bowl XLII. Patriots vs. Giants. This isn't as sweet as the Puppy Bowl. We hosted the Super Bowl party at our house. Somehow the party was taken outside, which consisted of one student breaking an ankle and the neighborhood being littered with Jones Cola bottles. The night ended with three youth throwing used kitty litter in the garage and bringing the fight into the house. This was the last Super Bowl party at the Ball residence.

• Bathroom Catastrophe Bowl a.k.a. Super Bowl XLV. Packers vs. Steelers. A sink was knocked off the wall in the girls' bathroom. Next door in the boys' bathroom, two boys dispensed all the soap into the floor (which I had to clean up).

Those events taught me that church Super Bowl parties aren't worth the trouble. Something bad always happens! And some middle school girl always leaves crying. Every youth worker and pastor just said, "Amen!"

It is because of one of those three reasons that you are so dog tired today. There is no way around the Super Bowl Sunday Hangover!

Let me coach you through this. Drink lots of caffeine. Don't kick yourself in the butt for missing your quiet time this morning. Don't dwell on all the calories you consumed. Go to bed early tonight.

It's only one night of the year. You've got this like Joe "Cool" Flacco!

Question:
Did the Super Bowl Sunday Hangover sack you? How many hours of sleep were you able to tackle?

*Just a reminder you only have until Tuesday at 11:59 PM CST to enter for a chance to win a Christian Gravy T-Shirt.