One Seat Rule

There's a rule that men follow when they are out with a friend.

Photo by David Joyce (a.k.a. DeaPeaJay) on Flickr

This rule will send the women's eyes to rolling. Women can't understand it. Don't take offense ladies. This has nothing to do with intelligence but wiring.

I remember the first time acknowledging and obeying this rule as a teenager. It was a real step towards manhood for me. 

A friend and I went to go see a Will Ferrell movie. Just the two of us. Laughter was to be laughed. The plot (like all Will Ferrell movies) was rich and complex. A real game changer in life, if you will. The movie was going to soar our friendship to new heights. 

But every guy who has been to a movie with another dude follows this unwritten rule.

While the movie brought us closer in spirit, in actual physical space it took us a seat apart.

The movie theater wasn't anywhere near maximum capacity, so we had to invoke the One Seat Rule.

It's an age old rule. 

Men have been observing it for years.

Its origins started long before men like George Washington. As the story goes (that probably never actually happened)...once when the Continental Congress convened in Philadelphia, Thomas Jefferson sit next to Washington with empty seats available all around. Upon noticing this Washington rebuked him saying, "Bro, whatever art thou doing?"

In the Bible, Samson got so angry when a man tried to sit next to him that he tore down a building. Even though the building was at maximum capacity and couldn't be helped. But nothing Samson did makes any sense. (Okay, so that's a very loose interpretation using the Message.)

The One Seat Rule states that when two men are out there must be an empty chair in-between them. The exception is if space is unavailable or if they are family (up to but not exceeding second cousins).

I have followed this rule a few times at church when I couldn't sit next to my wife. 

Yesterday, my wife was working in the tech booth, so she couldn't enjoy my company.

I wanted to sit near my friend, Jonathan. He was already seated and space was limited on the back row. I could have followed the one seat rule, but that would have me sitting next to a girl who wasn't my wife. The pew in front of us was empty. I could have sit in front, but (shamefully) I didn't. 

The problem is my friend is a real man's man. He works with his hands. He plays the bass and can grow an stout beard. He can fix things and drives the same kind of truck that Walker Texas Ranger drove. He eats spoonfuls of wasbi and doesn't even flinch (no joke) and he drinks the spicy salsa at the Mexican restaurant (not joking again). A man's man!

Halfway through the service, I'm wondering if I was in breech of the one seat rule. Was he about to lean over like George Washington and shame me with, "Bro, whatever art thou doing?" Luckily, he was merciful and didn't. 

But now I'm wondering, do you have to follow the one seat rule at church? Or is it abandoned for spiritual sake? 

Technically, where there are two or more gathered Jesus is there, also. And if Jesus is there that makes it super manly and spiritual. Right?

That could just be wishful thinking.

Or would Jesus be like, "Joel, what are you thinking? You can't ignore the one seat rule in church. Are you an animal? It's practically in the Bible!"

What do you think? Should the One Seat Rule be enforced at church among two dudes? Or do the rules change?