The Power of Bladder Control and Convo

When my wife was pregnant with our first child there was one television show that I couldn't wait to watch with my kid. I used to watch it as a child. I read the books. I even went on a field trip in kindergarten to see the live performance. I couldn't wait to cuddle up on the couch and watch this show with toddler one day.

Let me give you a hint of what it is. It's all about a trip on a sunny day that sweeps the clouds away where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get...to Sesame Street. 

I believe my oldest daughter, Ellie, is the world's first child not to like Sesame Street. Seriously, kids in Africa, Europe, Asia, Australia, they all love it. She digs a little Elmo and Abby Cadabby, but the rest is garbage to her, even Oscar. She never would watch it unless it was a Sesame Street musical.

So I did what any good father would do. I forced her to watch it. She would leave the room because she would have much rather watched John and Kate Plus 8. I finally gave up on her and since I was tired of watching it by myself, I decided it was time to start over. It was time to try for the perfect child.

Twenty-one months later (9 months of gestation and then a year to mature)...I found out that Chloe disliked it just as much as her older sister. It must be a genetic disorder passed through the maternal side of the family. I've come to peace with the fact that my girls have robbed me of my experience to watch Sesame Street with them. However, from time to time I will turn it on and watch it until one of them says, "Find me something to watch!" That's not a joke.

Once while I was forcing them to watch it, we saw the character Super Grover on one episode. He used his super power of observation to solve a mystery. It was awesome what he could do by simply observing. He had me convinced that he had supernatural insight into the universe. While the blue little monster in a cape (don't you just expect great things from people in capes) doesn't really have a super power, it has me thinking, what would be mine? What can I do that not everyone else can?

I know my wife's. She has the super power of bladder control. She kills it on road trips. I don't know how she does it. If my bladder is the size of a pea, hers is the size of a bowling ball. When else does this come in handy? Anytime she is waiting me out on something. If I'm where she wants to sit, she knows in fifteen short minutes that seat is as good as hers for the 24 hours. Control of the television remote? Not a problem; I've learned to take it with me in the bathroom. If I'm on the computer too long...she just uses her super power of bladder control. Imagine never having to get up in the middle of the night to urinate. You know the war that rages inside when you wake up having to relieve yourself. If you get up you might not be able to go back to sleep. But I can't afford too many more peeing dreams, I know my time is coming when I wet the bed. Bladder control isn't my super power.

My super power has to be the ability to talk with anyone about anything-the power of convo. I know just enough about everything to be dangerous. I can talk religion, sports, parenting, music, literature, culture, geography, food, church, fashion, history, kids...you name it and I can talk about it. Notice I didn't say I'm an expert or that I knew what I was talking about, just that I knew enough to be dangerous. My super power has caused me to never meet a stranger. A stranger is nothing but a future friend to me. I love standing in lines with future friends. I'll talk to them about anything. Standing in line at the grocery store, I practically dare the person in front of me to look me in the eye. You make eye contact with someone, then you have to talk. If you don't, then you are a jerk. Sadly, some people have the super power of being a jerk. Being willing to talk to everyone definitely isn't as cool as freaky bladder control. The power of convo doesn't sound like a great super power, but until I am bitten by a radio active spider that's all I have. Besides, do you know what you call people who are unhappy with their powers? Villains.

I like to think that people in the Bible had super powers as well.

Jesus of course had like the coolest super power to do pretty much whatever the heck he wanted to. Except in his own home town, that was kind of his kryptonite. Moses had a staff. I like to call it his bow staff (in honor of Donatello, the purple Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle). A staff is what an old person uses or something you catch at the hospital. A bow staff sounds hip and cool. The Prophet Elisha was Dr. Dolittle himself and bears would come out of the forest to maul teenagers for calling him baldy. Bears! Now that's power. Don't forget about Philip who teleported from one place to another. Peter spoke and a people fell down dead. Paul withstood deadly snake bites and was the first Jewish surfer (he grabbed a board). You get the picture. The Bible is loaded with people with super powers, whether it was the Spirit within them or just the way God created them. 

What is your super power? God uniquely created you making you special. There is no one else on the earth like you. There is no one with the same set of gifts, talents, abilities, and personality as you. These set you apart from other people. You truly are special and unique.

Alright people, I want to hear it. What would be your super power?