My Dad Really Messed Me Up

My dad really messed me up!

Is there anyone with me?

Dad doesn't have a physically dominating presences. He's a little guy like me. He is an awesome pastor, which does make the situation sting a little, since he broke number Eight of The Ten. I don't know if it disqualifies him from ministry or not, but I'm thinking maybe it should.

Don't get me wrong, I really love the man like my own father, but he really messed me up. I'm 28 years old. I have a family of my own. I haven't lived under his roof for over 10 years. I have earned a couple of degrees. On the outside I seem to have it all together. But every time I sat down to do one particular American thing, I can't do it. I fail every single time, because of Gary Ball.

What can't I do that all 300 million plus Americans have no trouble doing?

To this day, every time I order a burger and fries (the combo meal), I have to eat the french fries first. This is a huge deal since the meal should have balance. The fries and hamburger should compliment one another. Instead, the fries are consumed with urgency and gain supremacy over the burger. I don't even take the time to dip them in ketchup. I just grab and go like a scared chihuahua.

Why?

Because when I was a kid, my father used to steal my fries. That's right, he broke number Eight of The Ten.

I was a runt of a kid, who didn't eat much anyways. Whenever we would venture out to the big city of Russellville (because Lewisburg, Kentucky only had a Paradise Pizza), Dad would begin taking my fries. There was no confusing my fries for "community fries", which are fries found in no man's land such as the bottom of the bag or on the tray. Community fries are there for the taking. No these were in my scoop. What's a scoop? The container that the fries come in at McDonald's. It's not a box. To make matters worse, he would steal my fries while he still had fries in his own scoop. So not only did he break number Eight...he's guilty of breaking number Ten as well. Way to go, Dad! You willingly and openly broke one fifth of the Ten Commandments. You probably even took me on the Sabbath.

Don't try to reason with me and say he bought the fries, he can eat them. This isn't the animal kingdom here. We aren't a lion family in which the male has his fill of the gazelle carcass before "sharing"  with the others. He crossed the line and Ronald and the Gang should have beat him for it.

Christian, what's my point? I have no point. I tried to make it spiritual and it was plain stupid. I just love my dad and want to bust his chops for creating an unnecessary habit in my life. Now every time I sat down to eat burgers and fries, while I eat the fries first, I can't help but smile and remember my dad. He really messed me up and as you can tell from the picture...I'm messing my girls up too.

Question:
How has your dad messed you up?

Please feel free to answer in the comment section by clicking on the comment link below. Please pass the gravy!