That's when birthdays started to stink with the birth of our first offspring. Hopefully this doesn't make me sound like a jerk, but when you have a helpless adorable baby in your hand, you can't just do whatever you want for your birthday. The past five years birthdays have been an utter disaster. We have prematurely left restaurants with crying children, kids have fallen asleep at inopportune times making us miss events; basically, they just weren't all about me anymore no matter how hard my wife tried.
Five years later though the two offspring are older and for the first time in five years, yesterday was awesome. We celebrated my birthday a day early and spent time with friends. The day was mostly all about me. I know that's kind of selfish and is contrary to the gospel, but I prayed about it and God said it was okay that I deserved it after five bad birthdays in a row.
But the awesomeness of the day, got me thinking about the worst birthday of them all.
The day started off great, but it was a Sunday and at the time I was serving as a youth director. And that's where it all went to you know where.
I was 24 and I still thought birthdays were all about me. I was serving at a great church. The people loved me and my affection for them was mutual, so they trusted me with their youth; but unfortunately they trusted with me the church van as well. I decided we should celebrate my birthday at DQ, so we loaded up the 15 passenger van and went to party.
I learned to drive on a huge van that you could stand up in (one of those non-aerodynamic ones that makes you feel like you're going to be kidnapped every time one pulls up). Also, I worked in high school at a florist delivering flowers, so I had some van driving skills. We pulled into the DQ and chose the perfect parking spot next to a white Toyota Camry. I misjudged and the metal step along the side of the van scrapped the side of the car to such a degree the two vehicles were pinned together. Fifteen students went nuts. One student shouted in my ear, "Joel, you just hit that car!" As if I didn't know. I held back the profanity at myself and at Sherlock Holmes.
All the students had to climb out the driver's side. While my wife called the police department, I had to go inside and find the driver. Public speaking doesn't bother me, in fact I rather enjoy it, but this time I nervously made the announcement, "Who drives a white Toyota Camry?"
This big, huge biker with a cut off sleeves covered in tats, a black leather vest, and gnarly facial hair stepped up and angrily followed me out of DQ to the vehicle sandwich...is the epic story that was told from the students' perspective the following months. But how scary can I guy eating a cookie dough blizzard be? The truth is it was a sweet, timid lady who couldn't have been any more generous and sympathetic (she let me cry on her shoulder and offered me a tissue). Have you ever wrecked a church van? You have to make a seating chart complete with names, phone numbers, and addresses for the police officers. And you have to endure the humiliation of students calling their parents telling them what happened. You have to face the congregation the next week at church and get ransacked with the same joke. Luckily, little damage was done on the two vehicles and my pastor and the parents were all very gracious, but my ego was shattered.
Making it without a doubt, the worst birthday ever.
Question:
What's your worst birthday?
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