12 Things to Do During a Polar Vortex

It was cold when I woke up this morning. Stupid polar vortex!

I realize that if you live anywhere other than the Southeast or Southwest (or as I like to call it, the Sweet Tea and Baptist Church Line), then you have a more accurate definition and feel for "what cold is." As a great friend pointed out to all her Kentucky friends and family, her Iowa temperature this morning was -17° (and that is not windchill) is much colder than our 0°. Sure we could come and visit the cold, but we like our tea sweet and our churches baptist.

But cold is cold to anyone who isn't used to it.

Have you ever been to central Florida in December? You'll see people wearing sweaters and jackets in 60-70° weather. Satan wears a parka and beanie when he visits Miami in the summer.

Because cold is cold to anyone who isn't used to it.

However, all this cold has me wondering what is a Christian to do when it's this cold:

1) Put on a The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe play. It's cold, just like Narnia was cold.

2) Global warming prayer game. Do you think Al Gore ever get's tired of the global warming comments? Anywho, there are drinking games that when someone says or hears a word that they have to take a drink. I've seen it on television, not that I ever watch those shows. After all, I live where we like our tea sweet and our churches baptist. What if we put a Christian spin on it (like we do everything else) and every time someone made a comment about global warming during this polar vortex, they have to pray for our government and polar bears.

3) Kids who aren't homeschooled get to thumb their noses at those who are. Remember that homeschooled kids never let out for cold or snow. They're the postal service of education.

4) Use your prayer snuggie not for prayer, but to stay warm.

5) Catch up on all of Joel Osteen's warm, fuzzy preaching.

6) Be thankful that God hasn't called you to be a pastor, rather a missionary, to somewhere that actually knows what cold is. If he has, was it because of your obedience or his discipline? A close friend and his family recently moved to Sioux City, Iowa to plant a church, I'm starting to wonder what he did to tick God off. (Check out Strength to Stand one of the Gravy's most read posts in 2013.)

7) Talk like a Canadian-eh. They really know what cold is and talking like them has to make you feel warmer.

8) Grow your trendy beard back. (For those of you who can.)

9) Get caught up on the latest Jesus jargon (things Christians say). There needs to be an app for that.

10) Do a little door-to-door evangelism.

11) Figure out if the polar vortex is one of Satan's demons or God's judgement.

12) Knit a beanie and some mittens then take a selfie and #nofilter.

13) Do not put a turtle neck under your v-neck. No, dickies are not acceptable either.

What do you do during a polar vortex?