Introducing Christian Gravy's first "On the Other Hand".
In this segment, we take a look at an issue and I provide you with both sides of the argument. Trust me, this is a great strategy in decision making. There's Hollywood proof. Tevye used this strategy to decide if his daughters should marry certain men. Like when Hodel approached him about marrying Perchik. Tevye is able to sing an aside and figure out on his own that it's better to give his daughter his blessing and his permission by looking at both sides by implementing the phrase, "On the other hand". If at this point you are totally lost, that is probably a good thing. I'm referencing the musical Fiddler on the Roof. Typically musicals (unaccompanied by talking puppets) do not grip my attention, but the story of this man's hardships gets to me every time.
By the end of the blog, the question will be answered by looking at both hands (just a tip: if you sing the blog out to Tevye's Monologue it makes it that much better).
In my spare time I like to day dream about what Jesus would have done if he lived in flesh in today's society. I have to say that I kick Joan Osborne's butt at this. Jesus didn't live in a postmodern consumerist society like we do, but what if he did? Would Jesus be standing with you in line on Black Friday to score a sweet deal? Would Jesus have Christmas shopped?
Here we go.
Jesus received gifts from some wise men. He accepted gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (Some wise men! Their gifts are so not baby appropriate.) If Jesus was willing to accept gifts, more than likely he would like to give them. He was the most giving person to ever have lived on earth. And he is like his father, who "knows how to give good gifts" (Matthew 7:11).
On the other hand, Mary lost Jesus while shopping in Jerusalem. Okay, technically I don't know what happened that day, but let's take a look at the situation. Mary is a small town girl in a big city. What does my wife want to do in big cities? Shop. And you know what they say about shopping in Jerusalem. Mary was ready to fall into the Gap and visit all the name brand robes and sandals stores (I'm sure just to look). Women don't like to shop alone and if they do not have a friend to take, the husband is sucked in. That's why both, Joseph and Mary, left not knowing where Jesus was, they were shopping. This makes total sense because my family lost me while shopping once (mom will tell you that I hid, while brothers will say they lost me on purpose). Perhaps in today's society, Jesus would have a little angst with shopping.
On the other hand, Jesus was grateful when people shopped for him. Think of the woman who anointed him before his death. Some people were upset because since they proposed that they could have sold it to feed the poor. Jesus appreciated a good cologne. Jesus didn't even mind that she paid retail. Imagine if Jesus would have stopped her and asked, "Did you buy this at TJ Maxx?" I don't think so; Jesus knew how to accept great gifts and I suppose he liked to smell good, too.
On the other hand, Jesus didn't like crowds, so he wouldn't have been camping out with you at Target. What's up with their new lady all in red? Someone needs to give her some Ritalin. It really wasn't that Jesus didn't like crowds, but rather that crowds made it more difficult for him to achieve his purposes at times. But on the other hand (just called an audible), it was Jesus who said, "Foxes have holes and birds have nests, but I don't have anywhere to lay my head." Jesus might camp out with you after all. Although he is pretty hard core, he wouldn't be sleeping in your North Face tent.
On the other hand, Jesus knew how to catch a good deal. When collectors came to collect the temple tax, he sent a disciple to go fishing for fish with money in their mouths. I've never had that kind of luck. Jesus wouldn't have used debit cards, he would have gone to the gold fish pond at the main entrance or he would have been kicked out of the pet store (pet store owners don't like you sticking your hand in he fish tank to do magic tricks). Money wouldn't have been an issue for him, so Christmas shopping wouldn't have been too stressful.
On the other hand, Jesus was dude. Sorry ladies, this is coming from a Fiddler-on-the-Roof-watching-shoe-loving-argyle-sweater-vest-wearing-hot-tea-sipping man. Jesus wasn't married, so most likely you wouldn't have seen him shopping at the "Walmarts" for Christmas presents. When we get down to the facts, Jesus was a manly man with a beard (he was a carpenter who hung out with the cast of The Deadliest Catch and revolutionists) and men simply do not like to shop.
Final decision...If Jesus would have lived today, Jesus would not have been waiting in line for a great deal last night. Jesus certainly would avoid the crowds by not shopping during peak hours. More than likely, he would have delegated the task to one of his disciples (like Judas played by Lady Gaga). But Jesus would have still bought Christmas presents. Just in the comfort of the public library, while shopping online at Amazon.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Question:
Do you think Jesus would have Christmas shopped?
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