Letter to Angus T. Jones (That Kid from Two and a Half Men)

Dear Angus T. Jones,

What's up bro?

I watched both parts of your testimony on Forerunner Chronicles. At times you didn't know what to say and almost seemed uncomfortable to voice your beliefs. That's when I decided that I like you. Not, because you play Jake on Two and Half Men. I quit watching that when you were 11. I like you because you're raw. You don't have all the answers yet and you know it. You haven't been corrupted by church people (yet). Don't worry, we'll get you if you stay in the church long enough. But that's the rawness we need.

You are fairly new to this Christianity stuff, so I'm offering you some gravy for free. It's okay you can trust me. Growing up a preacher's kid in the South has given me a handle on this church stuff.

Let me give you some praise on your performance. Love the hoody. Throw on some Toms and a bracelet and you'll be all Christian G'ed up. Great job having the cool guy sit with you. People tend to listen more when someone else is nodding their head, laughing at your jokes/thoughts, or saying "right, right" in a Barry White voice. We call that an Amen Corner. That gives you instant church cred. Also, you were transparent. You weren't afraid to mention your sins. That's good!

Can I offer some constructive criticism? You messed up when you told us not to watch Two and a Half Men. Christians...well...how do I say this? We aren't the best people to tell not to do something. It's okay, you're new at this. If you tell us not to do something, we are going to do it. And now you've given us a reason to watch. We will tell everyone we only want to "support" you. Get creative when trying to persuade people not to watch the show. Push another option on a rival network. Just not TBN or we will be on to you.

Let me tell you how this thing is going to play out. Critics are going to say you compromised, if you finish your contract. They will call you a hypocrite. But don't worry, they are going to call you that anyway. Get some good advice from other wise Christians in your life. If your pastor tells you to finish your contract, but reminds you that $35,000 is a tenth of $350,000, then his advice probably isn't the best.

I want to give you some peace of mind. You are worried about what's next. Can you be a celebrity turned Christian? Let me introduce you to fellow child star Kirk Cameron. Do you need his phone number? He's like the go to Christian celebrity. But Christians, let's be honest. We are kind of tired of Kirk being our only option (no offense Kirk). So Angus please spice up our Christian celebrity list. When you get there tell us not to watch your movies, so we will be more likely too.

Anyways, just some praise, encouragement, and a quick look into the future. Much love bro and let me know if you need any more advice.

In Christ,

Joel