7 People to Avoid at Church

Be a member of a church long enough and you'll find the people to avoid.

Is that horrible?

It is, but it's true!

Don't punch yourself in the face over it. There's no need to feel guilty. It's one of those "it's me, not you" situations. 

Just deal with it.

You weren't called to like everybody, but to love everyone.

Some people definitely got (get) on Jesus' nerves. Of course, those people were probably only loved by their mothers.

There's a secret list of people to avoid in church.

Warning this list might include you, if you are remotely involved at your church (I'm on there):

1) Sympathetic Sally. Sally makes you feel uncomfortable with sympathy. She is a nurturer times ten. She is worried about you. But if junk is happening in your life, stay away from her, because she isn't quitting until you shed tears. If life is peachy keen, her questions will fling you into hypochondria. Sally will cling onto you without breaking eye contact and will ask your soul, "Are you sure you're okay?" like 20 times.

2) Volunteer Vinny. Vinny wants to sign up for everything. If he misses an opportunity, he feels like the chick without a prom date. Yes, he is a servant. We love him for that, because we don't want to do it. But the problem is when you are around him, he talks about everything he is a part of. Which makes you feel like bum, because you don't do as much.

3) Recruiter Ricky. Ricky has evolved into a stealthy ninja. He can sneak up on you quicker than a bear on salmon. Ricky wants to recruit you to help in some ministry. He doesn't play by the rules. His only rule in recruiting is there are no rules. He reads people. He knows how to separate the weak from the herd. Keep one eye on Recruiter Ricky, because you don't want to get stuck wiping snotty noses. Check back tomorrow for how to dodge Ricky.

4) Pessimistic Peggy. Poor Peggy wants someone to listen to her. But the problem is she unloads too much too quickly. Peggy has issues in life that aren't her fault. And talking makes her feel better. Why can't everyone bottle up their emotions like the emotionally stable do? Peggy doesn't let someone come to her and ask how things are going, she tells them. Perhaps you are getting a cup of coffee and you say, "Hey Peggy, you look nice today. Would you pass me a lid?" And then she hands you the lid of her emotions.

5) Angry Andrew. Andrew has been hurt by the church he left. But avoid him because he likes to tell everyone how horrible his previous church is. You would swear that his previous pastor was a manatar with mutton chops who preached using the Satanic Bible.

6) Theological Theo. Theo is smart. But he wants to offer his opinion on everything. Theo doesn't understand that we all know how to use "The Google". Theo became deadly with the introduction of smart phones. If you tell him "Merry Christmas",  he might just reply with the true pagan origin of Christmas. He also is constantly telling you that he follows John Piper on Twitter.

7) Culture Christian. Christian loves Christianity. He loves it so much that the Christian culture is his thing. He wears five cross bracelets, four ring crosses, and two dove necklaces with his Lifeway provided v-neck. His ringtone is Toby Mac. His Facebook picture is him at the Toby Mac concert. Did he mention that Toby looked at him and gave him the bro nod? Yeah, there were 12,000 people there, but he knows they shared a moment. He reads Relevant. Culture Christian inadvertently makes you feel like a slacker, because you accidentally listened to Ke$Ha while you were chomping Big Macs at McDonald's.

Do you know these people?

Are you one of the seven?

If you aren't on the list, then maybe you should be worried. Because more than likely you aren't involved in your church.

That is unless you are like five of them and then you have a problem. You might be one of these people, who only their mom's like.