Religious Vasectomy Get Well Cards

I have a buddy who is getting a vasectomy today.

He is a great guy, so no name mentioning.

I wanted to be encouraging and supportive of his decision, so I went to get him a card.

Did you know that if you go to the Hallmark Store and ask where the "Religious Vasectomy Get Well" section is, you will only get strange looks?
 
Did you know that it's even more embarrassing when you ask a lady who looks like she might work there, but doesn't?

Of course, I knew there wasn't a "Religious Vasectomy Get Well" section. I asked where the blank cards were, so that I could write my own. The lady who didn't work there proceeded to help me. So at the cash registered, I tried to get her a job. It turned out that I knew the lady. It was the mother of the first person I ever baptized, which only added to my embarrassment.

I'm not really the creative kind.

You won't see me making stuff on Pinterest or even going to Hobby Lobby.

The only time I offer to take my Pinterest-loving wife to Hobby Lobby is on Sunday.

But I realize that there is a need for someone to design and write religious vasectomy get well cards.

A need?

Yes, a need. If there is a need for Christian Mingle, there is a need for this too.

So I have written two cards. I am sending them to Hallmark to attempt getting them published. Hallmark gets the opportunity to fulfill their vision statement to "be the company that creates a more emotionally connect world by making a genuine difference in every life, every day." These cards can do exactly that. If they are crazy enough to miss out on this opportunity, I'm send them to Joel Osteen to see if he will publish them in his line that is sold at Walmart.

Men take a look and tell me these wouldn't be encouraging, if you were going under the knife?